Talking Acne

OT My take on holiday family gatherings

Question:

I can relate to anyone who hates huge family gatherings..  For over 25 years I have been going to these family gatherings that I DESPISE.  I am not exaggerating.  My family isn’t so bad for me, and my husband enjoys them. His family is another story.  It’s his mother’s side and they are extremely clannish, if anyone knows what I mean. They drive me up the wall with the most idiotic things.  If someone has gained weight, everyone comments on it, and it’s usually someone married into the family, who is always embarrassed out of their mind.  They comment on how much a person eats.  If one of the teens has a bit of acne everyone, and I mean all of them, asks why the kid doesn’t wash his/her face.  It’s awful.  I dread it so much it is the only time my husband and I have disagreements.  I get a severe stress headache. I say "I just cannot go" and he feels I should do it for him.  I know it doesn’t look good to everyone if he goes and I don’t and I usually just suck it up and get through it, possibly snapping at people who make rude remarks. A cousin looked at my husband once and said loudly "My God!  You are losing your hair!"  and he wanted so badly to say "My God, you have gained about 50 lbs." but he didn’t. I normally have something here and invite my mother, sisters and their families and just my in-laws, none of my MIL’s sisters, brother, nieces, nephews, etc.  I have not done that this year because I have had so much going on with med changes and life situations.  I know my feelings will not change at this point, most likely.  I have hated it from day one and still do to this day.  There are things these people talk about at the dinner table  that I cannot repeat here.  They are not trashy people, either.  Most are upper middle class or even higher, but they just don’t have an off button in their brains to prevent them from saying offensive things.  LOL Anyway, there has been no mention of tomorrow from anyone to me but I am sure in the morning my MIL will call and want us to come over there for lunch.  I can hear her now "I have baked a ham, etc.  Y’all come on and eat."  That may not be so bad but it’s not my favorite of things to do. Plus my husband’s brother and his wife should be there and they are always my salvation because they feel the same way we do. I may be the oddball, probably am, but I was raised to be polite and not comment on things about people, especially things they cannot help like weight gain and acne.  I have just always found it extremely offensive.  I actually do love these people but in small doses! Happy Easter everyone and hope everyone gets through the inevitable family gatherings.  :) :Love, Vicki — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -I can relate to anyone who hates huge family gatherings..  For over 25 years I have been going to these family gatherings that I DESPISE.  I am not exaggerating.  My family isn’t so bad for me, and my husband enjoys them. His family is another story.  It’s his mother’s side and they are extremely clannish, if anyone knows what I mean. They drive me up the wall with the most idiotic things.  If someone has gained weight, everyone comments on it, and it’s usually someone married into the family, who is always embarrassed out of their mind.  They comment on how much a person eats.  If one of the teens has a bit of acne everyone, and I mean all of them, asks why the kid doesn’t wash his/her face.  It’s awful.  I dread it so much it is the only time my husband and I have disagreements.  I get a severe stress headache. I say "I just cannot go" and he feels I should do it for him.  I know it doesn’t look good to everyone if he goes and I don’t and I usually just suck it up and get through it, possibly snapping at people who make rude remarks. A cousin looked at my husband once and said loudly "My God!  You are losing your hair!"  and he wanted so badly to say "My God, you have gained about 50 lbs." but he didn’t. I normally have something here and invite my mother, sisters and their families and just my in-laws, none of my MIL’s sisters, brother, nieces, nephews, etc.  I have not done that this year because I have had so much going on with med changes and life situations.  I know my feelings will not change at this point, most likely.  I have hated it from day one and still do to this day.  There are things these people talk about at the dinner table  that I cannot repeat here.  They are not trashy people, either.  Most are upper middle class or even higher, but they just don’t have an off button in their brains to prevent them from saying offensive things.  LOL Anyway, there has been no mention of tomorrow from anyone to me but I am sure in the morning my MIL will call and want us to come over there for lunch.  I can hear her now "I have baked a ham, etc.  Y’all come on and eat."  That may not be so bad but it’s not my favorite of things to do. Plus my husband’s brother and his wife should be there and they are always my salvation because they feel the same way we do. I may be the oddball, probably am, but I was raised to be polite and not comment on things about people, especially things they cannot help like weight gain and acne.  I have just always found it extremely offensive.  I actually do love these people but in small doses! Happy Easter everyone and hope everyone gets through the inevitable family gatherings.  :) :Love, Vicki

Hi Vicki, I’m so sorry you have to deal with people like that!  Email me if you want and we can rant to each other about our in-laws.  Mine are…unbearable too. I’m so glad I don’t do Easter anymore! ((((((((((((((Vicki))))))))))))))) Love, Dawn — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I can relate to anyone who hates huge family gatherings..  For over 25 years I have been going to these family gatherings that I DESPISE.  I am not exaggerating.  My family isn’t so bad for me, and my husband enjoys them. His family is another story.  It’s his mother’s side and they are extremely clannish, if anyone knows what I mean. They drive me up the wall with the most idiotic things.  If someone has gained weight, everyone comments on it, and it’s usually someone married into the family, who is always embarrassed out of their mind.  They comment on how much a person eats.  If one of the teens has a bit of acne everyone, and I mean all of them, asks why the kid doesn’t wash his/her face.  It’s awful.  I dread it so much it is the only time my husband and I have disagreements.  I get a severe stress headache. I say "I just cannot go" and he feels I should do it for him.  I know it doesn’t look good to everyone if he goes and I don’t and I usually just suck it up and get through it, possibly snapping at people who make rude remarks. A cousin looked at my husband once and said loudly "My God!  You are losing your hair!"  and he wanted so badly to say "My God, you have gained about 50 lbs." but he didn’t. I normally have something here and invite my mother, sisters and their families and just my in-laws, none of my MIL’s sisters, brother, nieces, nephews, etc.  I have not done that this year because I have had so much going on with med changes and life situations.  I know my feelings will not change at this point, most likely.  I have hated it from day one and still do to this day.  There are things these people talk about at the dinner table  that I cannot repeat here.  They are not trashy people, either.  Most are upper middle class or even higher, but they just don’t have an off button in their brains to prevent them from saying offensive things.  LOL Anyway, there has been no mention of tomorrow from anyone to me but I am sure in the morning my MIL will call and want us to come over there for lunch.  I can hear her now "I have baked a ham, etc.  Y’all come on and eat."  That may not be so bad but it’s not my favorite of things to do. Plus my husband’s brother and his wife should be there and they are always my salvation because they feel the same way we do. I may be the oddball, probably am, but I was raised to be polite and not comment on things about people, especially things they cannot help like weight gain and acne.  I have just always found it extremely offensive. I actually do love these people but in small doses! Happy Easter everyone and hope everyone gets through the inevitable family gatherings.  :) :Love, Vicki Hi Vicki, I’m so sorry you have to deal with people like that!  Email me if you want and we can rant to each other about our in-laws.  Mine are…unbearable too. I’m so glad I don’t do Easter anymore! ((((((((((((((Vicki))))))))))))))) Love, Dawn

Yesterday just tired me out. I have a very hard time with a lot of people in a small place (my house) for a long time. I handled it well but I am mentally drained right now. It is a very good thing that my wife takes care of everything or it just wouldn’t get done. — Ron P If it doesn’t hurt today, it probably will tomorrow. — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

<snip … It is a very good thing that my wife takes care of everything or it just wouldn’t get done.

I will second that!  Without my wife, I would be even more of a mess : ) Jim — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

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